It’s not exactly slow, but it’s half a pace slower than the time before. I confess that I did not buy this book in order to learn how to date slowly.
An excellent book on how to do this, practically, is “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk” by John Van Epp.
Psychopaths, Narcissists and all other types of shady individuals are on their best behavior in the early stages of dating.
And it’s usually these shady ones that are the most charming and try the hardest to impress.
I love what the New International Reader’s Version says in Song of Solomon 2:7: “Women of Jerusalem, make me a promise. So, if we agree that there is a right (and a wrong) time to awaken love and that taking it slowly is a good thing, then I propose that going slowly involves more than a simple application of physical and emotional boundaries to a dating relationship.
Successfully going slowly can only happen when it is done as a joint effort — when both parties' end goal is to honor God and each other.
It makes sense to proceed slowly and cautiously because once emotions get involved, it’s almost like all common sense goes out the window and we stop paying attention to those red flags that would’ve had us hitting the exits early on. I talk about it with people I’m romantically interested in. For me, what I really began to grasp is that I was being by not taking the time to really establish that the person I felt so deeply drawn to was, in fact, a good, safe and solid match for me. Van Epp’s book is not really about categorizing whole swaths of humanity as “Jerks” so much as it is about learning how to develop the skill of building intimacy over time. It can be OK, unless it continues for a long period of time, according to Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D., relationship psychologist, dating coach, and founder of My Soulmate Oikle says longlasting relationships require each partner to settle into stable and fairly equitable levels of love.One of my life projects is learning how to date slowly. It has to do with learning how to establish boundaries at the onset of a relationship and progressively allowing a person to enter into the inner sanctum of your heart as you move from strangers to trusted friends and lovers over time. One of my biggest breakthroughs in this department has been learning that taking it slow doesn’t just apply to sexual intimacy — it applies to. If you find yourself tumbling head over heels in new relationships, here are Dr.Oikle’s tips for keeping emotions in check so that the relationship can grow– on both sides.You wouldn’t let a stranger into your house and give them carte blanche with all of your stuff and you wouldn’t give them total access to your bank account, just because you thought they were attractive.So why do so many of us not take the same precautions when it comes to dating and relationships?