Funny rules for dating my son

Sara, thank you for sharing this sweet advice with us. Never, I mean , ask a girl on a date through a text, instant message, or email. Sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park.

— Dear Son, Dating is a tricky thing and doing it right is difficult. And who your wife is will determine your future family and so forth and so on. Here are a few expectations I have for you when it comes to dating: 1. You should always make sure you take her to a place you know she will feel comfortable & enjoy.

You’ve probably seen these two pictures making the rounds on social media. Our kids are precious commodities to each one of us and our lives serve to protect theirs.

When you click on the pictures, you probably think, “Okay, this seems cool. Our daughters are princesses and our sons are gentlemen. Both lists suggest that the parents are full of rage.

As much as I want that lucky girl to be the perfect girl for him, I also want him to be prepared for her. Your father & I will make sure you always have money for your dates.

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Or orphans , who are immediately suspect I suppose because that makes it harder to guarantee their “lineage”. Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son(s) to cook. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie 300 will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me. Well we have learned that Moms can be just as sexist as Dads when it comes to young women.

As the chill bony hands of Old Man Winter settle onto your holiday weary shoulders… the nervous giggle of teenage girls in line for the chance to drop the star quarterback into the stale beer scented dunking booth. A list that did not, in our humble opinion, reflect well on the outdated patriarchal notions of the t-shirt bearer. We hoped that at least our sons might escape such ridiculous overprotective scrutiny of their dating choices. Whilst discussing the List on our super secret Facebook Group, our own J. Hovey came across this delightful example of Mom’s Gone Fascist… This gem was posted to Facebook (and easily accessible by the Google), by a lovely mom who goes by the handle Goodwill Librarian (there are actually many variations on this meme, we’ll be picking on this one because it is the first result on the Google search. Yes, we see the humor in things like this (versions of this application for dating daughters are also floating around, they are just as, if not more, creepy).

as the snow drifts pile and the Christmas credit card bills accumulate… Let your mind wander back to the halcyon days of summer. You cover it with mustard and relish and eat it no matter what it is likely doing to your arteries. In the distance you here the rumble of engines, the shattering of glass, the tortured scream of twisting metal. If you feel the need to respond to the original post after visiting here, please be civil. But one glance at the comments below one of these applications will show a ready audience of parents for whom this is deadly serious business.

The young man’s mother did a very good job teaching manners and etiquette to her son.

He ate with us at Easter and even brought flowers and a dessert. That said, this is still my daughter we’re talking about and I’m not naïve. No father likes to see his daughter cuddled with a boy.