I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.With people marrying less and divorcing more, it's no wonder that the opportunity, and challenge, of dating while separated has become pretty commonplace.I most often run into people dating while separated when they're separated themselves and involved with someone else who's separated too.Strategic reasons not to date before divorce Emotions are raw during a divorce.When you start seeing someone else, it is like rubbing salt into your husband's wounds.Even so, the presence of someone new, particularly when paraded in front of the spouse and/or children, can enrage the soon-to-be ex, and also create the suspicion that the relationship began as an “affair” before the separation.The innocent new friend can be deposed by the other side’s lawyer (that is, asked questions that are taken under oath and recorded by a stenographer or even videotaped) and subpoenaed to testify at trial.
And with the prevalence of cheating, a lot of times one partner has already begun a new relationship and the other partner is now seeking to get 'mine.' Once it's been decided by one, or both, partners to end the relationship, most typically both of partners start seeking a new relationship. If you really care about your new love interest then you'll apply more reason than emotion to your decision about dating while separated.
What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.
Believe me, he will likely react to the fact that you are dating by making your life hell during the divorce process.
He may seek revenge to compensate for the anger, hurt, and embarrassment that he feels you have caused him.